Thursday, June 9, 2011

the bruins will not lose another game.

The Boston Bruins will win their next two games against the Vancouver Canucks. They will hoist the Stanley Cup at home in the Garden.

The Bruins are playing their best team hockey and have all the momentum in the world. The hated Canucks are reeling and are being outmatched physically, and are being dominated on the power play. Meanwhile, Tim Thomas continues to play like a man possessed.

In case you missed last night's game 4 beat down in the garden, here are the highlights of the massacre. Enjoy.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Let's Go Bruins!

If you've been following the Stanley Cup finals at all, you know that the Vancouver Canucks are a bunch of divers, biters, and unsportsmanlike assholes. Alexandre Burrows bit the finger of Patrice Bergeron during Game 1, and during Game 2, Burrows and his Canuck butt-buddies taunted the forward with finger biting gestures. However, during Game 3, the Bruins got plenty of payback. In the clip below, Milan Lucic slams Burrows' head and then shoves his fingers in Burrows' face, daring Burrows to bite. Check it out:

Friday, June 3, 2011

burrows bites bergeron. is the nhl fucking blind?

In the video below, Alexandre Burrows clearly bites Patrice Bergeron's finger. After the bite, Bergeron showed a bloody finger to the refs, who did nothing. Fine, because the NHL would surely punish Burrows for the incident. Or not.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

make the nfl tougher AND safer: remove the facemask

If you don't think the NFL has a huge problem with head injuries, then you yourself might be brain damaged. If you think the NFL has a problem with head injuries, but you still want to see players leading with the head, then you might be an asshole. If you want to see the NFL eliminate head injuries overnight, then I'm with you.

There is only one sure fire way of virtually eliminating all head injuries over night in the NFL: We must remove the facemask. If you've never heard this argument before, just take a moment to allow it to sink in. The NFL could simultaneously become a tougher sport, AND a safer sport by removing the mask all together.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

5 reasons why bill belichick is the greatest

1. The Genius
Sticking with Brady over Bledsoe when everyone in New England was screaming for Bledsoe. Releasing Lawyer Malloy. Trading for Welker and Randy Moss. Releasing Randy Moss. Taking a hard line stance with the media, and infecting his players with the same discipline. These are all the marks of a great coach. But of course, Bill takes it one step further. Hint: HE IS IN YOUR FUCKING PLAYBOOK!

As if being better than your team--in every aspect--wasn't enough, Bill goes and steals the damn play book. "Hmmmm, Tom Brady is our QB and I'm a fucking genius... Let's videotape their signals and run up the score!" Fucking genius Bill. Genius. Pile it on!

2. The Draft
The most important and underrated aspect of building a succesful franchise is the Draft. Bill Belichick has been an ace at the draft since 2000. According to, in the past decade, Bill has drafted 11 pro bowlers and 46 players who are still playing today. In fact, the Patriots are the best drafting team in the NFL over that period. doesn't take into account this year's stellar draft, which could be as succesful as last year's try, where Bill halled in 5 starters with his first 6 picks. The Pats are in position for another dynastic run.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

carl crawford sucks, and the red sox should throw him off the plane.

OK, not really. If they throw him off the plane then who the fuck are they going to bat in his place? Mike Cameron? Fuck that. Don't kill the man yet. Instead, let's build a time machine that will take us back to December 2010, so we can sign the right guy instead of this weak-wristed asshole. "But Tony, Carl Crawford can steal bases!" Shut the fuck up and listen. We don't need a base stealer when we have a lineup that can mash like this one does. What the Sox really needed was another power hitter to plug into that number 6 spot in the lineup.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Manny Ramirez is my hero, so fuck you!

Manny used. So fucking what?

We all know that the overwhelming majority of MLB'ers are using, and they get away with it because they are using undetectable substances. Ask Victor Conte(BALCO, Bonds): The cream and the clear are not the only undetectable things out there, and for every Victor Conte that got caught, there are plenty of other guys providing pro athletes with juice. Manny played in a dirty, dirty game. He was in the majority of players who use banned substances.

The Bruins are going to the Stanley Cup Finals!

What better way to kickoff my sports blog? For the first time since 1990, the Boston Bruins have made it to the Stanley Cup Finals! Here is the game winning goal: